Tips for Helping Your Child Manage Chronic Pain

Chronic pain is pain that lasts longer than 3 months. It may or may not have a clear cause. Chronic pain can affect your child’s emotions as well as their body. It can range from being mild and annoying to being so bad that it gets in the way of your child’s daily activities.

When a family member has chronic pain, it can be hard for the whole family. Your support can help your child learn to manage their pain and return to their normal activities and abilities with friends and at school.

There are several ways you can help your child. It takes time and practice to learn these skills.

• Try different ways to help your child cope with chronic pain. These may include:
  • Breathing techniques.
  • Muscle relaxation.
  • Imagery and visualization.
  • Calm music.
  • TV, movies, and online games.

• Tell them about the ways that they can cope with their pain.
• See which technique works best for your child. Some techniques may work better at certain times.
• Avoid talking a lot with your child about their pain. Asking your child a lot of questions about their pain can cause your child to notice more pain.
• Show or describe how you use some of these coping strategies when you’re in pain or stressed. This can help teach your child when and how to use these skills.

• Ask your child what they can do to manage their pain. For example, if your child’s leg hurts, say, “It looks like your leg hurts. What do you think you could do to help yourself feel better?”
• Give them time to think about their options.
• Try offering help in choosing a coping strategy, if they need it.
• Believe that your child can learn to function better and manage their pain.

• Continue your child's usual activities, even when your child is in pain. These may include going to school, exercising or playing, and being around their friends.
• You may need to help them function normally while they're in pain.

• Going to school can help distract your child from their pain.
• It can be helpful for them to spend time with their friends and learn to manage their pain on their own.
• If your child is in too much pain to go to school, avoid letting them spend a lot of time doing fun things that day. These things may include watching TV, playing video games, or using their tablet, computer, or phone. You don’t want to encourage them to be away from school a lot.
• Your child’s care team can help you set realistic goals based on your child’s current functioning.

• Note what your child did to function well. For example, say, “You were able to wash the dishes even though you didn’t feel well. Thanks for helping.”
• Try to give them praise as soon as possible after you notice the behavior.
• Remind your child when they have a good day that they are able to do their usual activities. This helps shift their focus onto what they can do instead of what they can't do.
• Praise your child for things like:
  • Going to school.
  • Finishing their homework.
  • Taking part in sports, clubs, or activities.
  • Finishing chores or going to work.
  • Using coping strategies on their own.

• Spend time with each child alone.
• Continue typical routines for you and your family. These may include work, exercise, hobbies, and other activities.

• When you’re taking care of yourself, you can better care for others. You’re also more likely to model and teach functioning behavior to your children. Remember that kids model the behavior and emotions they see.
• Some ways you can take care of yourself include:
  • Eating healthy foods.
  • Getting enough sleep.
  • Being active.
  • Reducing stress with methods such as deep breathing, yoga, or meditation.
  • Keeping in touch with friends and family.
  • Spending time on your own or with a partner or friends.